Dear Lucy,
Happy birthday, pretty girl! I'm not sure how a year has passed since you were born, but here we are. I wish I could stop time and we could all stay in this spot for a while.
The day I found out I was pregnant with you, it was pouring down rain and I drove to two stores to buy a pregnancy test. I just had a feeling there was a little baby growing in my belly. When the test came back positive, I was so excited and scared. I had asked your grandma many times before how would it be possible to love another baby as much as I love Dean. She always told me that it was easy and that it wouldn't even be a problem. She was so right! (Your grandma is a pretty smart lady!!)
I never knew my body was capable of loving you so much. You and Dean are just the best. Do you know what the best part is? From the very beginning, I could tell how much you loved me too. We have spent countless hours just staring at each other -- smiling, laughing, and just looking at one another. You and I have a very special bond, little girl.
You came into our lives during a pretty hectic time, but it was also at the perfect time. When you were one month old, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. You went to every appointment with me (and your grandma or dad!). All of the doctors were amazed by you. You were so quiet and calm the whole time. You were just what I needed.
Unfortunately, I had to stop breastfeeding you right after I was diagnosed. It was the biggest heartbreak of my life. Although it may take you a long time to understand this, I felt like I was being robbed. Breastfeeding was my gift to you. It was a choice that I had made and dedicated myself to. We were building an amazing bond and you were being provided all of the great nutrients you needed to grow and develop. It was a very difficult thing to let go. On the last day you breastfed, your dad and I took pictures. It was one of the most special moments of my life. But guess what!! You took a bottle no problem! You didn't mind having formula at all and we didn't have any issues. I was SO thankful.
Speaking of bottles, you are a wild eater sometimes. You like to graze. You will drink your milk for a couple minutes and then crawl around taking sips here and there. You make a mess -- dripping milk all over. We always have to wipe up your spills as you wander around the house. You also love to eat food. You have been a really easy eater and eat almost everything that Dean does. You never liked purees and would yell when we tried to give them to you. You wanted to feed yourself and hated someone putting a spoon in your face. You don't really have any favorite foods because you really will eat anything. I gave you applesauce the other day and you were so happy. You ate every bite -- off of the spoon!! Papa loves to feed you. Whenever we sit down for a meal, he will take the seat by you.
You absolutely adore your Papa. He has spent a lot of time with you and Dean over this past year. He loves to get you to laugh and smile. At your birthday party last week, you climbed up onto his lap in your beautiful dress to drink your bottle. Papa was in Heaven. He kept pointing to your grandma to look! Grandma is also so in love with you. She loves when you laugh -- the big belly laughs. She always tells us to "get Lucy to laugh!" She loves to read books with you now and play toys with you. She's always looking for cute outfits and tells me when she thinks you need to wear something cuter -- because her granddaughter is just SO cute that she needs to wear something adorable all of the time! Auntie Tina also loves to dress you in cute outfits. She said it just wasn't fair that I wasn't putting you in a tutu for your birthday party! I think Grandma likes your personality a lot. She always says you remind her of me when I was little. (No wonder she likes you so much...ha!)
My favorite thing about you is your personality. You are always smiling and happy. You remind me of myself. You have spunk and I often call you "the boss" because you know what you want. When you are on the move, we all stand back because you go fast! You climb into the cabinet to get toys out and sometimes shut the door to sit in there!
You love Dean. When your brother wants to give you hugs and kisses, sometimes you let him. Other times you start to yell and squirm to get away. You hit him, pull on his face and hair, and even laugh at him when he tries to be sweet to you. You just don't seem to want to be held down. You are definitely a character. You love to play with Dean's toys. Sometimes he gets frustrated, but he is learning to play with you now. You guys have a lot of fun together. You both are into reading books, so it has been fun seeing you both sit together and actually be quiet for a few minutes!
You and Daddy giggle together a lot. He loves to make you laugh. Daddy will toss you in the air and you think it is so funny. I get so nervous!! But Daddy would never let anything happen to you. He adores you, Lucy. Ever since you were born, Daddy has been so sweet with you. He used to always make faces and growl at you to play, but you would just happily stare back at him and smile. He used to tell me he didn't understand how you liked him so much when he was trying to bug you. I think it's because you really DO love your daddy. You guys cuddle and play together all the time. You like to crawl up into his lap to play. I love watching the two of you together because your dad gets the most genuine smile on his face.
You took your first step last month, but you have been hesitant to walk or take many steps until this week. Last Friday you took seven steps!! You have been trying more and more this week. The most you have done as of today is eight. You are starting to get up and try more and more though, which is fun to watch! You're definitely a mover and like to be busy. Once you get the hang of it, I don't think we will be able to contain you!
The only words you say right now are (in the order you said them): Daddy, this, that, uh oh, mommy, Dean (which is more like een), and papa. You are really vocal, but most of it isn't decipherable. This past week you started to enunciate more like you are trying to say things, but no real words come out. But you get very serious about it and even yell when you do it. You point and touch things, but we don't know what you are saying. You are really into phone calls now. You quickly crawl from across the room to see who is on the phone. You "talk" at the phone and use a lot of gestures. You point and touch the phone the whole time. I swear you are repeating the sounds of the words we say, but they aren't actual words yet either. Once you start, I'm sure you will be a chatter box like Dean. I cannot wait to see you guys have conversations together! You are going to be the best of friends.
This year has gone by too fast, but it has been filled with more love than I could have ever dreamed. You are a light in our life, especially mine. You came along when I needed you most. You have carried me through some very tough times. Our bond is intense and grows by the day. We love each other so much and everyone can see it. I am so thrilled that you are MY daughter. I am so lucky to have you, Lucy Girl.
Happy FIRST birthday to you, Lucy Goosey.
I love you.
Love,
Mom
P.S. I also wanted to add that you have a ton of nicknames! Here is what we call you most: Luce (loose), Lucy Goosey, Luce Goose, Baby Girl, Booboo Girl, Baby Bug, Sweet Girl, Lucy Bear, the list goes on!
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